dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
