Walk of Shame. In a state park.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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