She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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