So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
