Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
