I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
