omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I am mentally ready for anal.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
