at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
