i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
