She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
These tits shall not be calmed
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
