Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Randomize