you guys were way drunker than both of me
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
