Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
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