go do what you do best...puke behind churches
we made out on top of his cat.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I would fuck him just for his dog
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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