Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize