her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Randomize
