how can u be prego again
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Randomize