my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Randomize