He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Randomize
