she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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