I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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