i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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