CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Randomize