Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
