that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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