physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
