reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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