Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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