Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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