I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
