woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
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