My liver just broke up with me...
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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