i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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