Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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