i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
