quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize