She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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