remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
