i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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