So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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