I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Randomize
