Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Couch. On fire.
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