McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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