just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
My breasts were aching with rage.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
