I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
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