i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
