i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
3 2 1 whiskey
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
