Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
