Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
