I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
