yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
operation harelip BJ is a go
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
