Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
