On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
