Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
