So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
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