At least make sure they are 18
Why
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
