i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I have fence marks all over my body
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
That was before I lit my hair on fire
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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