She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
