I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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