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That reminds me...we need to get swords
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
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