I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
