Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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